180 Energy Drink: Anheuser-Busch Hates You
For some strange reason, Anheuser-Busch makes something called 180 Energy Drink. Hmmm. I cannot for the life of me figure out what the 180 means. Are they counting something? 180 what? Calories? Kilojoules? Megatons? Hectares? Kittens? Degrees? Turn the can around. The front-of-the-can artwork is upside down. Oh, so it is degrees. For fuck’s sake, people, that’s your gimmick? That’s all you’ve got? That’s hopelessly lame.
Figure 1.1: Annheuser-Busch ran out of ways to fuck up beer, so they moved on to energy drinks
Claims of the can: As lame as above. It boasts an “orange citrus blast” and that’s it. C’mon! Where are the ridiculous, heady, over-the-top claims? I could make a few suggestions:
-”Enough energy to demolish three 12-story buildings!”
-”Used to power Voyagers III, IV and VII!”
-”Warning: could cause violent outburts. Keep away from humans.”
-”Never blink again!”
Scariest sounding ingredient: Absolutely no scary sounding ingredients. The only thing intense about this drink is its utter feebleness.
Energy Drink Funk Factor: 3. It’s not traditional energy drink funk, however. It tastes like an extra-bitter Sunkist. I believe word I’m looking for it “bleccch.” Or possibly “yarrrg.”
What it does for you: It reminded me why I don’t drink Budweiser, either.